Don’t eat away your emotions or distract yourself from them by diving into the toxic world of social media distraction – you WILL NOT find happiness, positivity or energy there.
It’s true that to maintain energy, positivity and happiness as a Muslim mother is not the easiest thing to accomplish.
And it’s no secret mothers today are overwhelmed with the amount they are expected to do like never before. Over filled plates and empty cups is a recipe headed towards burnout, exhaustion, and fatigue…
But even when you’re feeling at your lowest, you still have kids to look after and a home to run. You don’t want your issues to affect them and you don’t want them growing up with baggage to heal from, like you.
So, finding sure-fire ways to maintain energy, positivity and happiness as a Muslim mother is so so important, if not vital.
Today I’m supporting you with 6 simple activities that you can keep returning to, whether you’re on a high or at your lowest, to maintain you energy, positivity and happiness, any day and everyday – because yes, you can feel energised, positive and happy everyday, no matter what. And for everything you do, you deserve that!
How to Maintain Energy, Positivity and Happiness (even when you’re exhausted and emotional)
1. Optimise nutrition
You are what you eat, or so they say. But honestly, being mindful about what you’re feeding your body has a huge impact on your energy, mood and health.
I love a sweet treat just as much as you do, sugar-glazed donuts, chocolates and crispy pastries as my fave, but even though they temporarily make us feel good, it’s not long until the sugar rush leaves us feeling low, hungry and craving more.
Try reducing your processed foods intake as they’re all high in sugar. To do this effectively, reduce how much you buy each week, slowly replacing crisps, biscuits and chocolates with healthier alternatives:
If your fresh fruit has finished, try keeping tinned peaches or similar (rinse out the juice/syrup)
Make sure each meal is nutrition and energy packed – protein and wholegrains provide you with slow-releasing energy, keeping you fuelled for a few hours.
Have salad with your meals (especially leafy greens) and drink plenty of water throughout your day.
2. Reduce tasks
It’s no secret mothers today are overwhelmed with the amount they are expected to do like never before. The tasks we expect to complete each and everyday is exhausting and unhelpful. There is no point draining yourself out only to have numb yourself with your latest netflix show or social media feed, before you repeat it all the next day.
It’s time to reduce the amount you do so that you can finally thrive.
Write a list out of everything you do in a day. Including how much time you spend watching tv and on your phone. Circle the tasks that are most important. (Cooking fresh every single day is not vital, ironing the laundry every wash and dry cycle is not vital, keeping the house spotless is not vital and neither is watching Netflix for hours in the evening).
Here’s a list of the bare minimum you should aim to complete in a day in order to keep yourself and your children healthy (mind, body, heart and soul):
1. Nutrition (healthy meals and snacks)
2. Healthy sleeping habits/routine
4. Fun/play (relax)
5. Touch (connection)
6. Hygiene (keeping toilets, kitchen etc. clean – not perfect)
Often without realising the value of what we have, we find ourselves feeling unfulfilled and wanting more. The idea that the grass is greener on the other side, did not work out for the three billy goats gruff, and will not work out for you either.
Tend to your own grass, nurture and nourish it so that it becomes greener.
Practising shukr aka gratitude is actually a hallmark of our deen for Allah repeatedly says:
وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ ۖ وَلَئِن كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِي لَشَدِيدٌ – 14:7
“…And if you are grateful, I will increase you (in good)…”
If you’re not used to making time to think about what you’re grateful for, then don’t worry because we have an outlined opportunity 5 times a day…
After you pray (whether your kids are all over you or not) take 3 minutes to make:
- tasbih – ‘SubhanAllah’ meaning: (you are) Perfect oh Allah,
- tahmeed – ‘Alhamdulillah’ meaning: (I) thank you Allah
- takbeer – ‘Allahu Akbar’ meaning: (you) are the Greatest oh Allah
You dont need a tasbih at hand, infact doing this on your fingers, mindfully sensing one pad of your finger gently touching another whilst you remember the blessings of your Creator, is unequalled. This is the sunnah of the prophet, and the preferred way, not to mention the most easy for us mamas.
As you say each word of remembrance, think of something you usually take for granted. I can guarantee you, after these few minutes, you will feel lighter and more content.
4. Positive self talk
Often when we feel drained and overwhelmed, we automatically think pretty crap thoughts about ourselves. We don’t feel good and without anyone telling us the opposite, it’s very, very easy to fall into days of feeling down (if not more).
Why wait for someone else (no matter how much they should) to pick you up and tell you how great you’re doing?
If you honestly try your best each day, literally tell yourself whether in your head, on paper or outloud, “I am doing my best and that’s great. This is all Allah wants from me.”
If you’re struggling to do your best, say something like:
“This is tough, but I am strong, I can figure things out, put plans into place and help myself. I can do this and I will”
Honestly, physically altering the negativity you maybe feeling, by writng or speaking it, makes a very tangible difference to your energy, positivity and happiness.
This is nothing to feel silly about. You are important, and if no one else is telling you so, you might as well do it yourself.
Sometimes we are at our whits end and at others we feel like we have to always make a change or sacrifice to maintain the energy, positivity and happiness of our homes and families.
But honestly that is not the case.
You don’t always need to act to change things. Sometimes what you’re doing is enough, probably more than enough. And all you really need to do is put your trust in Allah to take care of the rest.
It’s not easy letting go. Leaving things…
But always being the one to compromise or sacrifice or exhaust yourself so everyone else can thrive is not healthy. In fact its toxic.
Sometimes, if not always, the best thing to do is just raise your hands to make dua, pouring your heart and soul out to your Rabb – the way He wants it to be – that you turn, rely on and trust Him.
6. Work through emotions
Most of us have so many feelings that we just keep pushing under the carpet. Never talking through them or seeing them out the other end.
Though often necessary especially during the throws of everyday life, this is not healthy. The undealt with emotions and incidents fester within us, causing underlying frustration and stress.
In our culture, having emotions and displaying them is somewhat taboo, let alone speaking about them. It’s a sign if weakness.
But in reality and even in deen, this perception of emotions couldn’t be further from the truth.
Whether we wear our emotions on our sleeves or tuck them away out of sight, we are all 80% emotions. In fact, businesses can only get you to buy based on how they can make you feel. That’s what advertising is all about.
So if big businesses (mc donalds, louis Vuitton, nike, Netflix etc) get you to give them money by capitalising on your emotions, why do WE disregard them??? How did things get so upside down?
Validate YOUR emotions by writing them out. This is not a pity party (who ever even came up with that term?) This is a constructive and objective activity, whereby we can release how we are feeling and make room for positive thoughts and SOLUTIONS to our problems.
InshaAllah I will work on an easy to fill in template, to help you start releasing your pent-up emotions, and when I do I’ll share it here (be sure to sign up to my mailing list and follow on IG so you don’t miss it!)
You are not the only one that is struggling to maintain energy, positivity and happiness. Most people are, especially Muslim mothers.
It’s time to stop comparing and feeling helpless.
Take action to transform your situation and finally own motherhood for all its power and purpose.
Implementing these 6 simple activities when you’re at your lowest or just generally making a habit of them in your week, will improve your energy, positivity and happiness inshaAllah.
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